Saturday, September 23, 2017

In the News

Spider in Corner of Mertz Bathroom Just Trying To Live Out Dreams

ROGERS PARK – As the new school year is in full bloom, so are those friendly neighborhood creatures just itching for that sweet tile flooring in local bathrooms. For some spiders, this is a...

Quote of the Day

FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL 911.

News In Brief

  • Roommate’s Cool Visiting Cousin Makes Roommate Look Like Total Loser
  • Res Life Reveals Plans to Replace 2018 Housing Lottery with Live Game of Survival (see SAGA/DOP for tickets)
  • Professor’s Pit Stains Reveal Image of Messiah’s Face, English 273 Becomes Religious Pilgrimage Destination
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