Pros and Cons of “Bathroom Bills”

With President Obama’s declaration that public schools must allow transgender students to use the bathroom and locker room that matches their gender identity, the debate over so called “bathroom bills” has come into the national spotlight. Here are some pros and cons of allowing students to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity.

 

PROS

  1. It’s a chance to finally show off your Facebook debate skills
  2. It’s a great subject to agitate your grandma with at dinner
  3. Schools will be able to put this issue behind them and focus on more important things, like which arts program to cut
  4. Transgender students will also be able to focus on more pressing matters, like how to get their parents to accept their existence

 

CONS

  1. Transgender students will be able to pee easier, which is bad
  2. Straight men will have to find other ways to assert their masculinity over their wives and daughters other than standing outside the women’s bathroom to protect them
  3. Teenage students might see genitals that don’t match their own, which definitely never happens at all
  4. Children might be exposed to their parents transphobia
  5. The inevitable, bloody rise of Lucifer himself that will occur from letting transgender people use the damn bathroom