Harry Caray’s Ghost Summoned in Wrigleyville Seance

WRIGLEYVILLE—This Halloweekend, the ever-superstitious northside baseball fans ramped up their game. Over the past few days of long-anticipated world series games and a characteristically chaotic Halloween celebration, residents nearby the friendly confines did more than vomit off of their balconies. In order to make a victorious series more likely, the Cubs fans reached far beyond the intersection of Clark and Addison to a world not our own. By harnessing the raw energy of the holiday in addition to that of the neighborhood’s collective drunken stupor, the ghost of the late longtime commentator, Harry Caray, has been roused from his eternal slumber.

What began as a mostly incoherent idea over a late night of drinking away the pain of a game one shutout became a reality when a local mage overheard two drunken fans joking about it from across the bar. Moments later, a seance was underway in the storage room of Murphy’s Bleachers. The mage reportedly performed a ritual sacrifice of several goats and one unlucky Sox fan, both of which were already being stored at the Murphy’s cellar, until Caray’s ghostly figure emerged from a case of Old Style to quench its thirst for blood. After 108 years without a world series title, this seemed like a reasonable transaction.

Cubs fans hope that the powerful spiritual presence of Caray’s ghost will give their team the supernatural boost it needs to take the series home. For the next few days, one will be able to see the outline of his wide frames projected onto the sky behind the lights of Wrigley Field, and faint echoes of “holy cow” will ring through the streets of Wrigleyville until Caray’s ghost returns to its home in the beyond.