As Media Coverage Fades, Colin Kaepernick Practices Humpty Dance for Next Anthem Protest

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — Over the past few weeks, athletes across America have been taking a knee during the National Anthem to protest the police violence and minority subjugation rampant in modern society. These protests are following the lead of San Francisco 49er’s backup quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who started the movement by refusing to stand during the Star Spangled Banner at a pre season game in August. However, some media outlets have moved on from the dour subject in favor of lighter news and plentiful 2016 election coverage. Not wanting to lose the spotlight, Kaepernick was seen at practice this week preparing the iconic Humpty Dance for a prime time anthem protest.

“I was absolutely terrified when I started this whole thing, but I knew I had to be strong for what I believe in. Hopefully doing the Humpty Hump will bring a little more recognition to an important cause.”

Ever the professional, Kaepernick understands the evolution of a story and the need to keep his narrative under control. He added,

“Yeah some guys are gonna say this is all a publicity stunt but I can’t let that affect me. It’s my chance to do the humpty dance on a National stage. I gotta take it.”

With any luck this media stunt will rev up the conversation again and stop Kaepernick from going through with his next demonstration idea, which oddly enough is also from the Digital Underground’s 1990 hit. In a final comment, he said, “I’m gonna get busy with a girl in a burger king bathroom during the National Anthem. If that doesn’t work, nothing will.”