Early this morning, law enforcement officials were called to the home of Robby Novak, commonly known as Kid President, to respond to a 911 call. According to the call, Novak was preaching at an elderly man mowing his lawn, when the man took out a revolver and shot the boy. President Novak was pronounced dead this afternoon.
Kid President’s “Kid Secret Service” was not present for the altercation, and the investigation is ongoing.
“I know the world will thank me for putting an end to that horrible kid and his lisp. The lisp is only cute for so long.” said Ryan Goodman, the former president’s killer.
Goodman is a long suspected member of an Alt-Right group which had plans to overthrow the Kid Presidency once Novak hit puberty and replace him with Barron Trump. A squeak in Novak’s voice signaled the group into motion this past weekend.
“Yes the presidential balls were beginning to drop, but Mr. Kid President was prepared to go through a surgery to keep him at age 12 forever,” said a spokesperson for The Play House, the Kid President’s headquarters.
Kid President will be remembered for his platform of patriotic Youtube videos and the eternal childhood innocence in his eyes.