ARLINGTON, Texas – The wealth gap in America is creating a gaping maw between the upper one percent and the rest of the nation’s blue collar workers. In today’s separated society, it’s not hard to understand why some executives would want to get a closer look at the groundfloor of their businesses in order to covertly understand the world from which they are so far removed. It seems like a foolproof plan; however, according to Shane Russell, a cashier at the Arby’s on North Collins, it’s become painfully obvious that the “new-hire” is just the CEO in a cheap wig.
“I knew something was up the second this guy walked in with a full camera crew. They said they were just filming a documentary on fast food but—like—really stop to think about that for a second. Who would watch that? Who cares about this shit at all? That’s so fucking stupid.”
Speaking with our sources after an eight hour shift, Russell seems more than that confident there’s something going on.
“There’s literally a picture of Paul Brown [the CEO] on the wall in the break room. I look at this dude’s ugly ass mug all day, so it’s not hard to pick him out of a crowd in that stupid disguise. His glasses don’t even have lenses man—they’re just wireframes. I mean how the hell do you miss that?”
Although Russell seemed perturbed by the incident, it hasn’t shaken his rock solid work ethic and love for the company. While training the so-called “employee,” he made sure to mention his love for all things Arby’s as well as how much the position means to him ever since his brother’s near fatal car accident.
“Nope. I’m an only child, but I’m pretty sure at the end of all this they give you money if your life sucks, so we’ll see how that turns out.”