1. The Conductor
He rolls his eyes at you when you rush onto the train late and you can just feel the sexual tension. No one can resist the hat that just screams authority, or the way they work with…heavy machinery. If you find a way into that special front car, you’ve got an in with the love conductor.
2. Hot DePaul student
For sure the dude rocking the beanie/skinny jeans combo is a DePaul student because he’ll be reading the same page of The Great Gatsby for the entire ride. You’ll try to strike up a convo with him over his Chance the Rapper shirt but eventually lose him to the Fullerton stop. I know the heart yearns, but there’s roughly 20,000 more of him in Lincoln Park.
3. The voice of the CTA
You know it’s wrong, but every time you hear “Addison is next,” lightning bolts run through your heart. We’re all guilty of imagining what the body behind that steamy siren voice looks like.
4. Dick Display
There are definitely seats available, but he’s decided to grab onto the hanging strap right in front of you, so now you’ve got a face full of his firehose. You would be mad, but the view of his double chin from this angle doesn’t look too bad, so you casually imagine your life together to pass the time.
Every once in awhile you hit the holy grail and snag a seat with no one across from you. When this happens, we’re all responsible for staring at our reflections in the window for an uncomfortable amount of time. That’s right—you’re a rail-rider, and no one can stop you.