Dining Hall Worker Visibly Cries While Making Sandwich

Students come from as far as Albion to snarf down on the entirely average delicacies of the Damen Sandwich line.

The Damen workers are just as notable as the sustenance they provide. The Ramblers and the Campus Dining Workers—often dubbed as the tuition-owers and apron-wearers, have very friendly—almost verbal—rapport with one another. Yet Lena Perez, a current first year Rambler, keeps a close eye out for the staff preparing her midday meal.

Usually found eating alone or with a group of 17 of her most dear and readily available peers, Perez noted, “last Thursday, I was in a rush and just wanted my usual ‘brown gobble gobble swimming in cream with a slice of pink’ when the lady started sobbing, and it—like—wouldn’t stop.”

Initially, Perez felt her concern was warranted when the worker, or “Sandwich Lady” as Perez calls her, seemed as if she “wasn’t even listening when [Perez] told her to cream it up like a milkshake.” But the situation escalated rapidly—resulting in the wrong kind of bread, which, to Lena’s horror, was, “all soggy from her dumb tears.”

Luckily, “Sandwich Lady” was able to place said sandwich on Perez’s weakly extended plate before she fainted in silent submission behind her ingredient prison.  

Insisting that they treat workers like “Sandwich Lady” with the highest standard of humanity, students like Perez just wish workers could work a little faster with a smile on their face.

UPDATE: It has now been confirmed that Perez’s sandwich order was in fact Turkey on rye with mayo and a slice of bacon.