What’s That? 4 Things That Have Been In Your Fridge Since Last Semester

 

Cup full of Gatorade and vodka. You had some friends over in March and had a few drinks. Your friend Emma drank half a glass of her vodka and “Glacier Freeze” Gatorade before she had to go home because she was too drunk. You decided someone might drink it later, so you put it in the fridge. The combination has definitely started to eat through the bottle, so you should just toss it.

 

 

 

The reanimated zombie carcass that once was leftover Chinese food. You ordered way too much lo mein and szechuan beef, and, after 3 weeks of sitting in the fridge, the leftovers came to life. Every time you went into the fridge, you had to fight off the monster while trying to grab a cheese stick, so, eventually, you used the bottle of Jack Daniel’s you had in your freezer to beat the monster until it was dead. The oozing entrails of the monster were really gross, though, so you just left them in the fridge all year.

 

Unexploded ordinance. There are at least three unexploded World War II era claymore mines, six live grenades and a mortar shell in your fridge. You don’t remember exactly how they got there, but they’ve been there for months, and you suspect your roommate.

 

 

$1,500,000. You and your friends had a wild night in Gary, Indiana last semester, and you stole $1.5 million dollars from the Gary Horseshoe Casino. It was just like Ocean’s 11, but, instead of the glamour of Las Vegas, the backdrop was the abandoned steel mills of northwest Indiana. You were waiting for the heat to get off your back before you could deposit the money into an offshore bank account, so you kept it in the fridge.