BOSTON — 7:45 AM. Since late last night, the Red Roof Inn PLUS+ in Logan Park has been on severe lockdown. Once beloved childhood actor, Dylan Sprouse, has seemingly fully given and lost himself to his mid 2000’s character Zack from Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
According to most recent reports, Dylan’s episode began mid-afternoon yesterday when he happened to pass by a TV playing High School Musical and noticed former castmate Ashley Tisdale. Reportedly, Dylan then ran into the nearest hotel and broke down the door to suite 2330: the same suite number that his character/alter ego stayed in.
Numerous incidents have reportedly taken place. An elderly couple was barred entry into suite 2330 by a disgruntled Dylan/Zack. Dylan/Zack allegedly tied the couple’s shoelaces together and ran towards the kitchen screaming,” See ya later, gramps!” Dylan/Zack was then seen raiding the hotel’s kitchen for deserts. First responders found Dylan/Zack seated against the fridge, chocolate staining his face. Dylan/Zack refused to cooperate with officers stating he would “let one loose, and, brother, you do NOT want that.”
According to statements by the Boston Police Department, Cole Sprouse, Dylan’s on- and off-screen brother, was brought to the Red Roof Inn PLUS+ in an attempt to break Dylan’s delusional state. When asked by reporters what happened, a distraught Cole stuttered out,” he… he gave me a wedgie and told me to ‘Hit the books, you nerd!’” Cole refused to answer any more questions.
This is an ongoing story and will be updated.
UPDATE. 11:36 AM. Kim Rhodes, who played Carey Martin, the mother of Dylan/Zack, on Suite Life, was brought in to break Dylan’s delusional state; however, at the sight of his former mother, Dylan/Zack took the hotel’s dumbwaiter and escaped the Red Roof Inn PLUS+.
UPDATE. 4:21 PM. Dylan Sprouse has been reportedly seen headed towards the Boston Harbor.
UPDATE. 7:05 PM. Dylan Sprouse has taken over a small passenger ship in the ocean.