Sister Jean Kept on Strict Prayer Schedule, Only Given Breaks for Interviews and Blood Transfusions

Ever since the Rambler’s inspiring buzzer beater win over Miami in the first round of March Madness, Loyola’s very own Sister Jean has been thrust into the spotlight of “international” fame. After returning from Dallas earlier this week, Sister Jean looked lively, well fed and even glowy. However, before The Gull could investigate the nun’s holy health she was rushed into Madonna Della Strada, where the real story happened.

Deep in the crypts of the church, the Loyola administration is milking every last drop of miracle power from it’s most famous asset. Sister jean has been kept on a strict prayer schedule in some type of factory set up, only being given breaks for blood transfusions and the occasional photo op. If the sister doesn’t hit 15 Hail Mary prayers by lunchtime, she knows there’ll be H-E double hockey stick to pay.

“Yeah I mean she’ll disappear from time to time, but I always assumed she needed her rest,” said Senior Rambler Donte Ingram. “I guess it was kind of unusual when I saw her doing a backflip but we all know she’s got the big man on her side.”

Sister Jean has been working overtime at the prayer mill to prepare for tonight’s game against Nevada, so let’s all say a collective prayer that she hits her quota and gets that next dose of O.