The fourth week of school comes for us all, and the faculty members are no exception. On September 19th at 10:00 AM, Associate Professor James Winston hit rock bottom. Undergrads come into the class, ready to take on Math 108 with their germs and lack of motivation, complaining about how much work they have to do for other classes. Winston had to find a way to deal.
“I’m barely considered above a grad student. I don’t even make a living wage. All I wanted to do was chill out, take a quick hit. I didn’t expect any of this,” said Winston.
“This” being a full on revolt lead by high school Vice President and pain in everyone’s ass Sydney Chamberlain, who was the first to spot the Juul in Winston’s hand.
“Next thing I knew, students were rampaging, knocking over thermoses full of three-day-old coffee…a few students in the back of the room pulled out their own vapes as a sign of solidarity, but, other than that, it was a madhouse.”
She reportedly tried to proclaim herself ruler in the new regime, but she was overtaken by Doug, who was the first to hit the now infamous Juul that he wrestled out of the unconscious hand of Professor Winston. All Hail Doug. We hope for these idiots’ sake that he knows about Hamiltonian Circuits.