Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Maura Kernell

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Maura Kernell is a lazy rat junior year English major from St. Louis. Her favorite movie is Aquamarine and her favorite flavor is kosher salt. In her free time, she likes to lie down. Maura enjoys giving people backhanded compliments and money via Venmo. She does not have scurvy.When asked the question "cats or dogs?" her answer is always, "Yes." When she was seven years old, a scarf tried to kill her. When she was nine years old, a river tried to kill her. When she was twenty years old, a wheel of brie cheese tried to kill her. Her only true fear is the word “po*p,” which she claims to never have uttered in her life. Maura is not like other girls.

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